Step
The Joint Intake (1.5 to 2 Hours):
A collaborative triad session where we discuss what brings you to therapy, map your relationship history, and observe a sample conflict argument.
Structured Couples Counseling
Evidence-Based Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling in Meridian, Idaho
Break Free From Cyclical Arguments & Emotional Distance
When conflict, hurt, and disconnection begin to create painful patterns in a relationship, it can feel difficult to find your way back to one another. Together, we'll work to heal relational wounds, understand the deeper emotions beneath conflict, and create new patterns of communication and connection—helping you build a stronger, more secure, and lasting bond.
Request An Appointment
Breaking the Relational Script
Finding Your Way Back to One Another
Relationships can become painful and lonely when the person we love most no longer feels emotionally close or safe. You may find yourselves having the same arguments over and over, growing increasingly defensive or withdrawn, struggling to communicate your feelings and needs, or simply feeling more like roommates than partners. Beneath these patterns is often a deeper longing to feel understood, valued, supported, and connected to one another again.
In couples therapy, we will work together to understand the negative cycle that keeps pulling you apart and the deeper emotions and unmet needs beneath it. Rather than seeing either partner as the problem, we'll identify the pattern between you and create new ways of reaching for, responding to, and supporting one another. Through healing relational wounds, improving communication, learning to navigate conflict and repair, and rebuilding emotional and physical connection, my goal is to help you become a source of safety and support for one another—and build a relationship that feels secure, connected, and fulfilling.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy at Joyful Attachment
Our closest relationships have the power to bring us our greatest sense of comfort, joy, and connection—but they can also become the place where we feel the most hurt, alone, and vulnerable.
When we are children, our parents or caregivers serve as our safe haven—the people we turn to for comfort, reassurance, and support. As adults, our primary attachment figures become our partners. We want to know: Are you there for me? Will you come when I call? Do my needs matter to you?
When relationships become painful, we can find ourselves doing the very things that make connection harder. Through defensiveness, unrepaired hurt, misunderstandings, and unsuccessful attempts to communicate our feelings and needs, we may begin protecting ourselves from the person we most long to feel close to. We may criticize, shut down, pursue, withdraw, become defensive, or stop reaching for one another altogether—all while still deeply longing to feel loved and connected.
Couples therapy can help you find your way back to each other.
In my work with couples, I utilize two of the leading, research-based approaches in couples therapy: The Gottman Method and Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy. Together, these approaches give us a clear map for understanding your relationship, identifying where you are stuck, and helping you create meaningful, lasting change.
A healthy attachment bond is accessible, responsive, and engaged. In other words, both partners can learn to feel confident that their relationship is a place where they can turn toward one another for comfort, support, and connection.
The goal is not to become completely independent of one another. Healthy relationships involve mutual dependence—the ability to lean on one another while still maintaining a strong sense of self. Together, we work toward helping you become a safe haven and secure base for each other: people who can turn toward one another during difficult moments, celebrate together, and feel secure in the knowledge that you are loved well.
Click on a tab below to learn more about our process.
You have both lived full lives, and your relationship has its own unique history. Before jumping into interventions, I want to take the time to truly understand you—both as individuals and as a couple.
We begin with a thorough four- to five-session assessment designed to give me a full picture of your relationship and help us identify the areas where you are thriving, as well as where you may be feeling stuck or disconnected.
Using The Gottman Method, we explore many important aspects of your relationship, including:
- the strength of your friendship and connection
- how well you know each other's inner worlds
- trust and commitment
- your shared values and dreams
- how you communicate during conflict
- your ability to repair after difficult moments
- your individual and shared emotional worlds
- the patterns that leave you feeling hurt, disconnected, or alone
- if defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling are present in your relationship
This assessment helps us create a clear understanding of your relationship and develop an intentional plan for where we want to go.
One of the most important parts of couples therapy is learning to recognize the negative interaction patterns that keep you stuck.
Often, couples begin to see each other as the problem. One partner may feel that the other is too critical, demanding, distant, or defensive. But when we slow down and look beneath the surface, we often discover a painful cycle that has taken over the relationship.
Perhaps one of you pursues connection when you feel hurt, while the other pulls away to avoid conflict. The more one partner pursues, the more the other withdraws—and the more the other withdraws, the harder the first partner fights for connection.
Neither of you is the enemy. The pattern is the enemy.
Together, we identify what happens between you when things go wrong, what emotions and fears are underneath your reactions, and what each of you is truly longing for from the other. Once you can see the pattern clearly, you can begin working together against it rather than against each other.
Insight alone doesn’t change a relationship. Once we understand where you are stuck, we get to work.
I am a focused and devoted therapist, and I come into each session with an intervention and plan based on our assessment, the work we have already done, and the goals you have for your relationship. My hope is that if you bring your courage into the room, we can begin helping you love each other better right away.
- communicate your feelings and needs in ways your partner can hear
- listen and respond to one another with greater understanding and empathy
- move beyond defensiveness and learn to stay emotionally present
- identify the deeper emotions and needs underneath conflict
- tolerate vulnerability and reach for one another more openly
- repair hurt more effectively
- co-regulate and help one another feel safe during difficult moments
- manage conflict without causing unnecessary damage to your bond
- rebuild friendship, trust, and emotional intimacy
- understand and interrupt the negative patterns that keep pulling you apart
Sometimes, life happens between sessions. A new hurt may emerge, an argument may leave you feeling disconnected, or something important may need immediate attention. In those moments, we can set aside any plan I had for our session and focus on what your relationship needs most that day.
My goal is not simply to help you stop fighting or get through your current crisis. I want to help you build a relationship that feels like a source of comfort, safety, friendship, and connection for both of you.
Over time, you can learn to recognize when you are falling into old patterns and choose a different response—one that is more aligned with the love and commitment you have for one another.
You can learn how to repair more quickly, communicate more clearly, regulate difficult emotions together, and hold one another’s emotional experiences with greater care and compassion.
Ultimately, my hope is that you leave therapy with more than a better understanding of your relationship. I want you to leave with the ability to continue caring for and repairing your relationship long after our work together ends—with the skills to turn toward one another during difficult moments, hold each other dear, and continue growing the bond you have built together.
The goal is a relationship where both of you can feel deeply loved, emotionally safe, and secure in the knowledge that you have someone beside you who will keep reaching for you.
Our 4-Stage Couples Assessment Protocol
What to Expect: A Clear, Analytical Sequence
To eliminate guesswork and respect your investment, our couples intake operates through a highly structured clinical assessment framework:
Step
Individual Attachment Interviews (1 Hour Per Partner):
Private, separate sessions with Kelly to dive deep into your personal family histories, unique attachment styles, and relationship histories.
Step
The Comprehensive Gottman Assessment:
A thorough, empirical evaluation taken independently outside of session that analyzes your friendship metrics, values, conflict management styles, and historical trauma blueprints.
Step
The Feedback & Goal Setting Session:
Around session four or five, we’ll come together to review the results of your Gottman Assessment and explore your personalized Relationship Profile. This gives us a clearer understanding of your relationship and helps us identify the areas that matter most to you as we create meaningful goals for our work together.
Timeline, Expectations, and Rates
Your Path to Internal Self-Sufficiency
Session Formats
Available for in-person sessions at the Village in Meridian, or online via telehealth, for 50 or 80 minute sessions.
Investment Notice
$125 for 50 min sessions | $185 for 80 minute sessions.
In-network with Idaho Blue Cross.
Ready to take the next step?
I offer a free, 15-minute consultation to answer your questions, learn more about what you’re looking for in therapy, and determine whether my approach may be a good fit for your needs.